


Bet on it

by mckvch (RaiseYourVoice)



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Online Dating, Attempt at Humor, Bets & Wagers, Chatting & Messaging, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-02 22:13:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11518557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaiseYourVoice/pseuds/mckvch
Summary: “Oh God,” Arthur choked out when the the app loaded his profile and he saw the pictures Morgana had chosen, “this is horrible.”“That’s the point.”“Yes, but...this is even worse than I expected.” He didnotwhine but he was very close to it. Fortunately, the worst two photos were the one with the donkey ears from some stupid costume party and one where he had lost another bet that had resulted in him having to wear makeup—red lipstick, eyeshadow and terribly styled hair. The latter was certainly the more embarrassing one out of them.





	Bet on it

**Author's Note:**

> This story was inspired by [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hk7kmjasP-I) and the first messages are taken from the video as well. I thought the idea was quite amusing so I wanted to try writing something about it, even though it didn't quite turn out the way I wanted it to but I'm guessing it'll be four chapters if I managed to actually plan correctly for once.
> 
> I really hope the formatting with the text colours for the messages works, I'm still trying to find a way to make such stuff look properly in stories but...meh...not quite sure how to go about it.

“Why did I even agree to this bullshit? Signing up for such this would be bad enough under normal conditions but this—”

“You realise that no amount of complaining will change anything about you having to do this, right?” Morgana briefly glanced up at Arthur before resuming to paint her nails but not without stretching her legs to nudge his side with her bare feet, causing her half-brother to flinch and make an indignant sound in the back of his throat.

“I hate you so much for this,” Arthur added with an annoyed frown, flopping down onto the bed so he was laying on his back, legs dangling off the side. He stared at the display of his phone and grimaced at it before pressing his thumb against the login screen of the dating app to type in the information his half-sister had just handed to him. Maybe it hadn’t been the best idea to leave setting up a profile to Morgana but seeing as he was supposed to make  a bad profile, kind of the opposite of who he really was, she probably did an excellent job.

“Oh God,” Arthur choked out when the the app loaded his profile and he saw the pictures Morgana had chosen, “this is horrible.”

“That’s the point.”

“Yes, but...this is even worse than I expected.” He did _not_ whine but he was very close to it. Fortunately, the worst two photos were the one with the donkey ears from some stupid costume party and one where he had lost another bet that had resulted in him having to wear makeup—red lipstick, eyeshadow and terribly styled hair. The latter was certainly the more embarrassing one out of them.

“Why did you choose _GothSloth_ as my username, though? That’s—ugh. Just _why_?!”

Morgana didn’t do a great job at stifling her laughter. “Because you’re our golden boy so goth felt like a good opposite to that. And sloth...well, you’re anything but lazy.”

Arthur couldn’t argue with that logic but the name was still terrible, even for a fake “I lose a bet and have to make a repulsive dating profile” profile. But maybe that would actually help him win the bet that Gwaine had forced onto him in regard to this dating app debacle: Arthur had to keep this up for one month and interact with people in the app and Gwaine was convinced that even with a shitty profile and acting like a complete oddball, he would still find at least one person that wouldn’t get scared away. Arthur really, really doubted it when he spotted the brief description under the photos.

_i’m the one for you!_  
_by that i mean i’m a 1/10_  
_and i really hope you don’t block me_

He thought it was all a little bit too much, obviously fake, unbelievable, but that was technically not a bad thing because it would at least lead to him winning the bet against Gwaine and that was something Arthur was very much in favour of. So, he left the profile as it was and briefly skimmed through the people who were suggested matches for him.

“Why are there men and women?” He asked after a few swipes, his eyes once again finding Morgana occupied with making her nails look on-point.

“Why not? I thought it’d be boring to go with the opposite there as well and make you straight—this way you at least have the chance to maybe spot a guy who is to your liking. Who knows, maybe you will find the love of your life this way,” she joked.

“Sure, my whole profile is based on a bet and made up of lies, that’ll be the perfect basis to find _true love_.” Arthur scoffed and he never made a serious account for such online dating stuff for the simple reason that people could put up the greatest bullshit. Meeting someone face to face was a lot better, made it easier to get a read on people and it was a whole lot more comfortable than communicating digitally.

“Am I supposed to start conversations with people or am I waiting for anyone to message me?” He had absolutely no idea how this online stuff worked.

“It would make sense for you to start conversations. It’s not that different from real life flirting, you know? And with this you don’t even have to look for someone you like, you just pick anyone and send them some dumb line,” Morgana said distractedly, carefully blowing against her freshly painted nails to try and speed up the process.

He contemplated for a moment, swiping through a few suggestions until finally opening the message window of some guy, biting his bottom lip to come up with some stupid conversation starter that would fit the not-Arthur. Usually, he would be rather smooth and start in a natural way—no dumb pick-up lines or other obvious _trying too hard_ things—but seeing as he was supposed to act opposite to his usual, open-minded, positive and confident self…

_can i have your number?  
you’ll be my first contact because i have no friends_

Arthur snorted softly at this ridiculous opener and maybe he also cringed a little inwardly because this sounded horribly awkward. He also wondered if writing like this wasn’t actually more on the emo than goth side of things but, either way, it was the complete opposite of what he usually would have said to start a conversation with anyone.

He swiped through a few more matches before his phone pinged with a reply to his message and that even got Morgana’s attention.

“Did someone message you?”

“Yeah, I messaged them and just got a reply,” he sighed while opening the conversation—raising his eyebrows at both, the answer and Morgana pressing up against his side to curiously take a look at his phone as well.

_lol  
Do you have snapchat?_

“What even is this reply? Who would get such an odd message and think _oh, yes, I want to add this person on Snapchat_?”

“Maybe the guy has no friend either and relates to fake-Arthur? Or he doesn’t care and is only interested in getting you to send dickpics,” his sister replied with barely contained laughter, shaking her head while her eyes flickered over the brief conversation again before Arthur exited it to go back to looking at the other suggested matches.

He was just about to open a conversation with someone else when he was actually messaged by some girl first.

_Hey there_

Not exactly the most creative opener but it was still better than what he had gone with before. Now he had to think of something as odd as possible to reply with but before he could start typing anything, Morgana snatched his phone and started tapping away on the screen.

“I thought I’m supposed to do this?”

“Yeah, well, I’m sure you’ll have more than enough opportunities to scare people away on here, don’t worry.”

Arthur grimaced and didn’t disagree. He honestly didn’t mind her taking over, anyway, because he had more trouble than expected to come up with un-Arthur-like messages.

Morgana’s laugh interrupted his thoughts and now it was Arthur’s turn to lean closer and look at the screen of his own phone, making an indignant little sound in the back of his throat.

_hi  
do you like bumpy rides?_

_I feel like I’ve met you before (that’s not a line)  
Do I like bumpy rides? I’ve been known to bump along on occasion._

Arthur couldn’t believe people were actually answering such nonsense and it made him wonder what other, weirder, messages they received that this didn’t seem to faze them in the least. He watched Morgana type a reply and couldn’t hold back a short bark of laughter.

_because i’m an emotional rollercoaster_

“Really? That’s what you’re going with? Maybe you should’ve give me a name with _emo_ instead of _goth_? Seems to be more fitting, if you ask me.”

Morgana only brushed his criticism off with a dismissive gesture and handed his phone back—by smacking it against Arthur’s chest—before she stretched out to reach for her own phone resting on one of the two pillows because it had announced a new message.

“Gwen messaged the group-chat, asking what time we’ll all meet up this evening?” Morgana glanced at him, fingers hovering above the display of her phone and ready to type an answer but waiting for her brother to give his input.

“I’m not the one who takes ages in the bathroom. I go according to you so choose whatever,” Arthur replied with a shrug and exited the dating app for now, not in the mood to spend a lot of time there right now because it would mean wrecking his brain for stupid things to say but at least he could show Gwaine that he actually had an account now so the other would hopefully stop bothering him about it. Though, he would probably bother him even more now because this meant their bet had started.

Arthur was pretty confident that he would at least win this one because there was no way in hell that anyone would stick around for the nonsense he was spouting on this account. There couldn’t possibly be a person who would feel even remotely attracted to such a whiny oddball that this fake-online-persona was apparently forming into!


End file.
